


Promise

by TheFairieQueen



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: AU, AU ending, Akuma!Alma, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Ficlet, M/M, Post Alma Karma Arc, Romance, Tumblr Prompt, Yulma, Yuulma, exorcist AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-17 02:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFairieQueen/pseuds/TheFairieQueen
Summary: What Kanda said shouldn't have bothered Alma.  After all, it wasn't like they spoke anymore to begin with.





	Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the one sentence prompt, "We are /not/ friends!" on Tumblr.
> 
> AU following the disaster at the North American Branch where Alma survives, and he and Kanda don't escape through the ark.
> 
> Happy reading!

It shouldn’t have bothered Alma. But it did.  
  
Alma couldn’t blame Kanda. After everything that had happened – after trying to kill Kanda _twice_ – Alma couldn’t blame Kanda for saying what he had said.  
  
Kanda more than likely hated Alma now. That much seemed obvious; why else would Kanda hardly spare a glance in Alma’s direction, and so purposefully avoid looking at him?  
  
Not that the two of them had much of a chance to interact. After the disastrous incident at the North American Branch, Alma’s barely alive body (an abomination, really) had been confiscated. Alma didn’t remember the details of everything; his mind was fuzzy with hatred, and the influence of the Millennium Earl. He didn’t even know how he was still alive – hadn’t he been intended to self-destruct? That was what the Noah had wanted…except that other one. The one with white-hair.  
  
That boy who had a Noah inside him. What had happened to him?  
  
Alma didn’t know – no one had told him. No one cared to.  
  
It was unclear to Alma just how much time had passed since the whole incident occurred. Enough had passed that he’d been able to regenerate. It had been painful, not only in the physical sense, but in the psychological one as well.  
  
Why couldn’t they have just let Alma die?  
  
A part of Alma wished that the Order and the Noah would have let him and Kanda just kill each other off. Staying alive only caused suffering, and it was not even a life that either of them had. Kanda was still caught up in _that_ person, and Alma was trapped by the notion that he was forever a part of _that_ person.  
  
Alma didn’t even know if he could be called his own person anymore. His mind. His feelings. Ownership of such things suddenly seemed impossible.  
  
Freedom, too. Once Alma had shown signs that he was going to somehow recover, the scientists had kept him on lockdown. It was expected; Alma was considered highly dangerous, and had been responsible for a massacre even before he was infused with dark matter. But, that also made him somehow valuable to the Black Order, and worth keeping.  
  
_‘As a weapon,’_ Alma reminded himself bitterly. _‘They always meant to keep us as weapons.’_  
  
The Black Order really was no different than the Noah, it seemed.  
  
Eventually, Alma had been repaired enough physically so that he didn’t need to be practically quarantined. He still always had someone supervising him – Alma didn’t know if he’d ever get a moment alone ever again. But, he was at least able to be exposed to other members of the Black Order after being transferred to European Headquarters.  
  
Although it was debatable on whether or not that was a _good_ thing. Many of Alma’s akuma characteristics were still evident: the pointed ears, the colored markings, the _tail_. Alma was just as freakish as he always was, except this time it was visible to the naked eye. He had always been a freak. Being called an apostle of God had been nothing more than a nice way of saying such.  
  
Most members of the Order seemed to avoid Alma. They maybe chanced a glance in his direction at best, but then would look away quickly before whispering to one another. It angered Alma, but he had to do his best to pretend he couldn’t hear. Any signs of loss control would mean instant isolation, if the threat wasn’t great enough to warrant a death it seemed.  
  
Being able to go out was how Alma periodically saw Kanda though. The interactions were hardly non-existent though. Kanda often ignored Alma, pretending the second exorcist-turned-akuma didn’t exist. And Alma would do the same.  
  
On more than one occasion, Alma had noticed people looking at the two of them nervously, as though they had no idea what to expect. Usually, Alma felt the same. He never knew what to expect with Kanda. But Kanda probably hated him.  
  
Alma tried to tell himself he wasn’t upset by this.  
  
But, then came the day where Kanda said something. It wasn’t to Alma – how could it have been, when Kanda never even looked his way? No, it had been to some Chinese girl – Lenalee, and exorcist and the younger sister of Chief Komui Lee. She and Kanda had been in the dining hall, when Alma and his supervisor had arrived there to get dinner. Kanda and Lenalee had already been seated, though Lenalee had spotted Alma before turning to Kanda. She had kept her voice soft in a likely attempt to make sure Alma couldn’t hear her speak, but Alma’s acute hearing picked up on the words regardless.  
  
“Hey, Kanda? Do you think…you’ll ever talk to Alma again?”  
  
Kanda hadn’t bothered to glance up from his soba. When he didn’t answer, Lenalee tried again. Her tone was wary. “I mean…you guys are-“ She caught herself quickly, “-were friends, right?”  
  
This caught Kanda’s attention. He looked up at Lenalee sharply. “We are _not_ friends.”  
  
The words came out abruptly, and sounded harsh. Lenalee seemed a little taken aback, actually. Alma didn’t risk looking at them any longer though, and focused his attention elsewhere. He felt a pair of eyes on him though, and Alma wondered if they belonged to Lenalee or Kanda. More than likely, it was just Lenalee. Kanda wouldn’t bother.  
  
It shouldn’t have bothered Alma to hear all this. It should have bothered Alma. Except it did. Alma and Kanda were not friends, and never really had been. And that upset him.  
  
Alma left the dining hall quickly.  


* * *

  
  
Night fell, and Alma was surrounded by silence. He had his own room, though the interior of it was minimal in decoration. Apparently, Alma was still considered hazardous enough so that the Order didn’t even want to give him too many unnecessary objects as though he’d use them as weapons somehow. It was a bit ridiculous to Alma, really – but he hardly had time to notice such a detail when he had to deal with the fact that there was always a guard outside of his door.  
  
God, it was frustrating. Alma was basically a prisoner, all while being trained to be useful to the Order in the Holy War. _‘Just like before. Just like I always was,’_ Alma thought, as his eyes stared up at the ceiling.  
  
Dark. Stone. Alma had always dreamed of seeing the sky, but now he was just stuck with _this_. Stuck with this ceiling. Stuck in this prison. Stuck in the same hellhole as Kanda – someone who Alma had once thought he _could_ be friends with-  
  
_‘Except we’re not. We’re not friends, and we never really were,’_ Alma tried to tell himself, as he desperately attempted to ignore the ache in his chest. The ache he felt every time he _thought_ about Kanda.  
  
Suddenly, there were footsteps outside of Alma’s room. Ears perking at the noise, Alma turned his gaze toward the door. That was peculiar – no one ever came down through the hallway Alma was in. He was somewhat cut off from the other exorcists, and nowhere near the finders. The only time Alma ever heard footsteps was if the guards were trading spots to watch his door, but technically it wasn’t time for a shift change. Alma had experienced enough sleepless nights to have memorized the timing by this point.  
  
Alma listened, and held his breath. He heard no words, which was even stranger. Who was outside right now? Their steps were light, and almost inaudible – which said a lot, since Alma had highly sensitive hearing due to his akumatized form.  
  
The door clicked, and Alma realized whoever was outside was coming in. Immediately growing tense, he tried to decide on whether it would be wise to pretend to be asleep or not. As soon as the door opened, Alma instinctively shut his eyes as he feigned being asleep, as a childlike fear gripped his heart.  
  
_‘Just go away. Whoever you are, please just go away,’_ Alma silently pleaded. He had no idea who was in his room or why, but he did not want to deal with them.  
  
Whoever it was that had come in did not speak. They continued to walk softly, and Alma could soon feel their presence as they stood right next to his bed. Alma forced himself to try to relax, wishing that people would leave him alone.  
  
The stranger sat down – on the edge of the bed. A familiar voice spoke. “Stop doing that fake sleep shit. I know you’re awake.”  
  
Alma’s eyes shot open, and he turned his head. He sat up with a startled expression as he registered just who it was in his room.  
  
Kanda. Kanda was in his room. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, arms crossed his face looking away from Alma.  
  
Alma was confused, and in his bewilderment slightly irritable “What the hell are you doing in here?” He asked, not sure what was even going on. “And how’d you know I was awake?”  
  
Kanda snorted quietly. “You always pulled that act when we were back in the lab. Sometimes when you wanted to get out of the experiments,” Kanda commented. His voice was quiet, but held a bitter edge. “Edgar almost fell for it a few times. Moron.”  
  
Alma frowned. He didn’t like remembering being in the lab, and he especially didn’t like remembering being forced to attempt synchronization.  
  
Turning his gaze away from Kanda, Alma returned to his initial question. “Why are you here? I didn’t think I was allowed _visitors_.”  
  
There was a venom in Alma’s tone, but he couldn’t help it. His life was dictated by the Order – he had no say in anything. Neither did Kanda.  
  
Kanda’s mouth grew into a hard line. “No one knows I’m here.”  
  
This caught Alma by surprise. Alma looked back at Kanda, his brow furrowed slightly. “What about the guard out-“  
  
“That guy? Idiot dozed off fifteen minutes ago. He really should get fired.”  
  
Now Alma looked surprised. “What, were you waiting? Why?”  
  
Kanda sighed in an exasperated tone. “Why do you think?” He asked in annoyance. “I was _trying_ to fucking get in here.”  
  
“But _why_?” Alma interjected, his tone slightly heated. He had to remind himself to keep his voice down, or else he might wake the guard outside. “It’s not like you’ve been really acknowledging my existence or anything.“  
  
Kanda remained quiet for a moment after that, and Alma wondered if maybe Kanda would just leave. The silence that fell between them was horrendously heavy, and breathing felt difficult.  
  
Finally, Kanda spoke. His tone was noticeably softer than before. “I’m leaving headquarters.”  
  
Alma barely registered the words. After a few seconds, they began to sink in. Alma’s expression must have given his realization away, because Kanda took one glance at Alma before quickly continuing.  
  
“Not permanently,” Kanda added. “I just…have to go find someone. Track them down before I can come back here.”  
  
Alma felt his blood turn cold. He turned away from Kanda sharply, trying to ignore the pang of ugly jealousy he felt. That person. Kanda was still obsessed and in love with _that_ person. “Are you going to look for _her_?” Alma asked, his voice an icy whisper.  
  
God. That person. That person that was now Alma. Or at least, who Alma was made from. And Kanda was going to keep searching for her.  
  
Surprisingly, Kanda shook his head. “No. I’m not looking for her anymore,” He answered quietly. “This is just some idiot I need to find…”  
  
Against his better judgment, Alma’s eyes moved back to Kanda. Kanda was looking away again, but Alma could see his profile. His hair was tied back in a ponytail, but his bangs seemed a bit longer and unkempt. His expression was distant.  
  
Alma’s frown lessened in severity, but still remained. His eyes flickered away again. “So why are you telling me? I thought we weren’t _friends_.”  
  
Kanda closed his eyes, and exhaled through his nose. He sounded frustrated. “You’re as stupid as ever,” He muttered, though Alma still heard perfectly well.  
  
Alma looked at Kanda sharply. “Excuse me?”  
  
Kanda turned, facing Alma directly. It was the first time he had done so in forever it seemed, and Alma was momentarily breathless from the unexpected _directness_ of this interaction. Kanda, however, appeared unfazed.  
  
“You’re as stupid as ever,” Kanda repeated. His expression was oddly devoid of harshness as he said this though. “You’re as stupid as ever, because we _are_ friends. And I’m telling you why I’m leaving so you know I’m not leaving for good.”  
  
Alma was stunned. Stunned and silent. _‘What…?’_ He wanted to ask, but the words seemed to stick in his throat. They wouldn’t come out. _‘I thought you hated me…’_  
  
When Alma didn’t speak, Kanda took the opportunity to continue. His words sounded stiff, and his posture was rigid. Alma suddenly realized that this was because Kanda was uncomfortable. Kanda usually didn’t speak this much.  
  
“I’m…I’m going to come back here. I’ll come back for you,” Kanda continued, voice soft and slightly gruff.   “The Order can’t know though. They can’t know we’re…”  
  
His voice trailed off, but Alma understood. An onslaught of emotion immediately enveloped Alma, and he felt his insides tremble. He didn’t want Kanda to go. Even if it were temporary…Alma didn’t want to risk losing Kanda. Not again.  
  
Without thinking, Alma grabbed Kanda’s wrist. He clutched at it tightly, his eyes downcast. “Yuu…I don’t want you to leave…” Alma pleaded, his voice barely audible. “What if you don’t come back…?”  
  
The stiffness in Kanda’s expression broke, if only for a brief second. His eyes appeared to glimmer in the darkened room, though Alma couldn’t tell if that were because Kanda’s eyes were watery or if it was just the way they happened to look. Or maybe it was because _Alma’s_ eyes were watery that Kanda’s eyes looked such a way.  
  
Kanda took hold of Alma’s hand, gently rubbing his fingers over it. “I’ll come back for you, Alma,” Kanda whispered, as he brought Alma’s hand to his mouth, holding it close. Alma barely felt Kanda’s lips against the back of his hand, and his heart sped slightly as he felt Kanda pull him close, whispering gently into Alma’s ear. “I won’t let them keep you here. I promise.”  
  
Alma clung to Kanda tightly after hearing those words. He clung to Kanda until he fell back asleep.  


* * *

  
  
When Alma woke up the next morning, it was cold. His room was still dark, and he realized that the sun probably hadn’t risen yet. For some reason, he felt sad – incredibly so. Within a few moments, Alma began to recall the events of the previous night.  
  
Kanda. Kanda had come to his room. Kanda had told Alma he was leaving.  
  
Kanda had promised Alma that he would come back.  
  
Alma now remembered that he had fallen asleep while Kanda while still with him. Like some weak child who needed protection, Alma had fallen asleep in Kanda’s arms, clinging closely to him as though Kanda would faded away into nothingness if Alma were to let go. Yet somehow, Kanda had still slipped out of Alma’s grasp, all while Alma was in a slumber.  
  
Alma’s heart ached. He wished he could have said goodbye to Kanda one last time. He wished Kanda would have woken him before he left.  
  
But, Alma had woken up tucked under sheets that he had not bothered to cover himself with. No doubt it had been Kanda’s doing.  
  
_‘Yuu…’_ Alma thought, as he tried to squash the painful yearning he could feel himself beginning to become consumed by. He wondered if Kanda had possibly not left yet. Maybe Kanda would still be around when Alma went to the dining hall for breakfast, or perhaps Alma would catch a glimpse of him in the training room. Kanda had not specified when he was leaving.  
  
These thoughts gave Alma hope.  
  
But, when Alma when to the dining hall that morning there was no sign of Kanda. Lenalee was sitting with another group of exorcists, and there was no sign of Kanda in the training room with Mugen. Eventually, Alma accepted that Kanda had left. Kanda was gone.  
  
_“I’ll come back for you, Alma.”_  
  
Kanda had promised though. He had promised Alma he would come back.  
  
Later that day, it became more apparent to other people that the sword-wielding exorcist had ventured off. The official who was currently supervising Alma had taken note of it, and found it for whatever reason necessary to comment on.  
  
“So, your friend took off, huh?” The official prodded, though his words were cold and did not warrant a friendly conversation.  
  
In response, Alma threw the man a cool glance before turning away. “We’re _not_ friends,” Alma answered quietly.  
  
_‘I’ll wait for you. Forever.’_

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that Kanda found a way to keep his promise. <3


End file.
